difference in age

I remember being thirteen and having someone who was sixteen tell me how big of a difference there was between thirteen and sixteen. I responded with “Yeah three years and a drivers license.”

I thought I was so funny.

Did I really think that was the only difference? Three years and a drivers license. That seems like so little of a difference. If I could talk to my thirteen year old self I wonder what she would think of me now. Ten years ago. She was a scared little girl doing whatever she could to fit in. She felt awkward, ugly and like everything was fall down around her. I obviously know, I was her.

I think now, how big of a difference three years makes. There’s a huge difference between sixteen and nineteen, nineteen and twenty two. I can hardly even remember being eighteen anymore, and it was only five years ago, I can only imagine how life changes as we get older. I don’t think I ever really realize it until I had to lived it. At eighteen I didn’t think there was any difference between being eighteen and twenty but there is, there’s a maturity that comes with age, what someone chooses to do with it is up to them. If someone told me when I was eighteen that I’d be a completely different person when I was twenty three I would have told them it was bullshit. I could never have foreseen the changes in my life. I still can’t see the future and I don’t doubt right now that I’ll be changed when I’m thirty, and again at forty. Not a completely changed and different person but obviously a wiser person with a little more experience.

I wish I could go back in time and tell my teenage self not to be so resistant to change, advice and thought provoking decisions.